What to do with BIG Emotions?
And How Kinesiology can help you feel safe with them –
Holding the BIG and small together with ease.
Big Emotions – show us we are truly alive,
truly human and moved to our bones.
“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it…”
― At First Sight
What to do with BIG emotions that take us over?
In theory we need to move them and ‘shake them off’… but more often than not, the reality of ‘big emotions’ are that they get stuck and hang around for much longer then they are welcome.
This week I have had an experience with a ‘big emotion’ and been able to notice how it has effected my body, mind, sleep, adrenals, digestion, and even how I relate and speak to people.
This big emotion I experienced this week – humiliation…. a certain kind of shame and embarrassment, that is out in front of people… made me feel less than, in the wrong, and shut me down.
I don’t want to focus on the event, but more on how the ‘big emotion’ effected me and how I have moved through it… so that you my find new ways to play with and be curious about what you are holding too…
My usual nervous-system pattern during an incident or experience like that is ‘shut down’ – I loose my words, cross my arms to protect me… my mind just shuts down – I hear the words, but my body enters a whole universe of its own.
My physical reaction is always interesting – I often flush, get hot, my shoulders tighten, my gut knots and my heart races…classic right?
Anger is next… the ‘fight’ response…
Big emotions stacked on top of each other… that in hindsight my nervous-system has remembered from previous traumatic experiences in similar circumstances… but that awareness only comes after the incident, maybe even after a cuppa and time to calm…
The ‘big emotions’ that our whole system reacts with will be, and are, a ‘nervous-system’ responses to ‘danger’ that is perceived.. through the lens of past experiences and future expectation, the amygdala (the part of your brain that automatically detects danger and plays a role in behaviour, emotional control and learning) comes to play.
When this part of your brain detects ‘danger’, the ‘limbic’ system is activated, the bio-chemical changes within your whole body can be extreme and hard to control… your ‘adrenal’ response kicks in…
All of this in a micro-second that will have lasting effects if not ‘cleared’ or ‘released’.
The main problem we have with big emotions is that we rarely clear them effectively, and when they arise we often ‘don’t have time’ to respond effectively and nurture our system back into harmony or at least calm… or flow… or balance…
The emotions we carry in the body will keep replaying… keeping the patterns alive… until we are able to clear them, respond differently and ask different questions.
A few strategies to move BIG Emotions that have helped me…
I find that moving big emotions and resetting my whole system needs a multi-pronged approach… and takes days…
Physical, bio-chemical, frequency-shifting, spiritual and mental.
Once the initial ‘anger’ had calmed, I was able to understand my reaction as ‘humiliation’ – a reaction to past events and traumas…
Don’t forget, this can take days or even longer, to clear the after effects of big nervous-system shake-ups… be gentle, offer self-compassion and be creative and curious…
🌀 Awareness is a big start in letting go… clearing… having a ‘name’, a label’ for the response helps in knowing how to change and respond differently.
🌀 Knowing my whole system responded purely from past events in that moment can help diffuse the heat, bring self-compassion into the picture, and start to understand the shut-down.
🌀 Then comes the physical ‘calm-down’ – breath is magic in the moment… and ongoing… long slow breaths, consciously offering your nervous system relief and calm…
- This will need to be repeated over the following days – each time you play it over in your head or feel the body heat/heart responses again…
🌀 Movement is also a key – at that time I was stuck at my work station, so I moved as I could – neck, shoulder & wrist rolls… but later, when home (at night), I was able to stretch, dance… just move to let the stagnant adrenal after-effects shift a little.
🌀 Big emotions always change the frequencies within you – your cells vibrate differently – so, you need to reset and tune back in…mostly using the senses…
- Sound, a Tibetan bowl over my heart, listened to binaural beats when I couldn’t sleep, silence in the car (always helps me).
- The vibration of my own voice – my own specific ‘vocal harmonics’ to calm and allow my system to remember it’s innate frequencies… Using ‘ohm’ or in this instance, using ‘bah’.. repeating, feeling, resonating with these frequencies really helped settle me.
- Colour always plays a part for me – what I wear, call in and look at, all influence this reset… blues and purples do me wonders.. for you it may be greens or earthy tones…
- Smell – essential oils – I intuitively chose ‘fragonia’ – I carry the loving light of dignity within me’ – powerful affirmations at this time.
🌀 Thoughts – the frequency of thoughts is powerful – ‘I am safe’, ‘I am grateful for the friends around me’, ‘I will rise above this’, ‘I am powerfully abundant’… ‘I carry dignity within me’…
- Each time there is a thought reliving the moment, it is important to have a thought that counters the physical reaction…
- Each time you have a thought or relive that moment, your body will react as if it is happening again…
- This could be days of adrenal/nervous-system highs and lows… so it’s important to counter with calm, self-compassion & light-filled thoughts.
🌀 Resetting your bio-chemistry is important after a huge surge of adrenal shifts – magnesium, water, leafy greens, protein… zinc, vitamin c (to support your immune system which might take. a hit)… over days at least, if not for a few weeks!
🌀 Sharing your experience can be crucial/useful... I ranted and raved for a few days… feeling the anger and self-righteousness, expressing in my own words… make sure it is with ‘safe’ people – close friend, partner, colleague, or professional…
- releasing the ‘words’ from your system is crucial too – journaling, painting, cooking… creatively expressing your hurt, anger etc..
🌀 Knowing this kind if emotion/experience will shift energy through my meridians, knowing my Liver, Kidney, Spleen and Heart meridians might all be taking a hit… I trace the meridian lines gently to help support and move the energy there.
Over the past few days, I have used all f these techniques to bring myself ‘back’… each one of these has helped to reset, re-tune and re-balance my whole system… it is not finished, as I type I still feel a little ‘prickly’, but that’s ok, and I know that as I keep moving, shifting and re-tuning, what was so big will reduce and finally be settled.
I also know that this is another layer of healing for me – a different, deeper level of past trauma work… how fabulous!
What’s next?
If you would like help to reset any past ‘big emotions’ that keep repeating in your life, I am here to help…
If you would like to discuss how you will be different after working with Lisa, book in a Curiosity Chat with Lisa – click here.
