Pleasure..
Pleasure is the first good. It is the beginning of every choice and every aversion. It is the absence of pain in the body and of troubles in the soul. Epicurus.
“Thank you for your help” he said.
“My pleasure” she replied…. though her kindly voice was tinged, just a little, with resentment because she had cancelled her weekly beach walk to help him.
Pleasure…
My pleasure..
Your pleasure..
According to the Cambridge Dictionary, pleasure is ‘enjoyment, happiness, or satisfaction, or something that gives this’. While Dictionary.com explains pleasure is ‘the state or feeling of being pleased; enjoyment or satisfaction derived from what is to one’s liking; recreation or amusement; sensual gratification; one’s will, desire or choice‘.
What comes to mind as soon as you hear the word pleasure?
What do you notice in your body when someone asks what would please you in any given moment?
So many of us feel stress or even fear around pleasure – because of our early teaching around enjoyment, freedom, expression, duty or even selfishness…
Bringing out my very broad brush now, I believe that most young girls are encouraged to ‘please’ others.. to be ‘nice’, to not upset anyone… to look nice and so please those looking at her… to deny her sensual delights and so become disconnected or even afraid of her own desire.
And, so most young girls, as they become young women, are confused about their sense of self, their sense of pleasure, their sense of who they are and what they like, and may even feel guilty for asking for what they need or want.
And, then, as many these young women become mothers, their sense of pleasure is diminished even more, simply because the children take their time, energy.. they have learnt to disengage even more, just to get through the day…, and suddenly, they don’t know what they want any more, or how to feel themselves any more… they have lost their sense of pleasure, of self and of self-pleasure.
It is biologically natural to move toward pleasure and away from pain. Pain makes us contract, withdraw, or shut down, whereas pleasure invites us to expand, and tune into our senses. P110, Eastern Body, Western Mind by Anodea Judith.
And, so, PLEASURE invites, allows and creates, the feelings of enjoyment and satisfaction, the embodiment of gratification, and the enlightened state of joy…
Pleasure expands our mind, flexes our body and frees our spirit…
Physiologically, pleasure creates a state, a body-memory, a habit, that moves us toward pleasure and away from pain… we eat to not feel sad, we have sex to not feel alone, we drink to not feel stressed, we dance to not feel stuck, we play the pokies to not feel helpless, we scroll endlessly on Instagram to not feel disconnected….
Dopamine, also known as the ‘feel good’ neurotransmitter, is most associated with pleasure, and is part of our reward centre – sex, shopping, smelling banana bread baking… our reward system is transactional – if I do this, then I will feel that…
- Dopamine helps create our feelings of pleasure, but it also helps our brain regulate ideas related to pleasure – our brain starts to anticipate the experience of reward caused by something pleasurable, which creates a deep memory-sensory association. This is a major function in addiction. Expecting reward is pleasurable enough for the brain to get excited and set off a series of other responses.
- Dopamine in the brain creates pleasure not just around the consumption of ice cream, for example, but the specific memory of how rewarding eating a favourite ice cream flavour will be. The greater the association of reward to something pleasurable, the stronger the chemical connection in the brain.
- Euphoric recall, for example, is a term used to describe an elaborate recollection of “the good old days” and good times during using.
- Feeling good feels good, plain and simple. Our brains are wired to maximize our experiences of pleasure. Because pleasure is such a rewarding experience, our desire to seek pleasure when possible is easily influenced.
- One of the primary brain functions of addiction is the dysfunction of pleasure. *
And, so… pleasure motivates us to love, connection, awe and addiction.
Pleasure can blow our mind, create an illusion of freedom and helps us escape the pain we may feel.
There are two things in life that motivate you, the fear of pain and the desire for pleasure. Author unknown.
Energetically, pleasure can be held, rejected, be stagnate, blocked, enhanced, invited or overplayed.
In the Chakra system, pleasure is held in, effected by and moved through the Sacral energy centre, which is situated under your belly button, above your pubic bone. Here, the purpose of this energy centre is to stimulate movement – and pleasure is the most inviting way to accomplish this!**
- As children, pleasure comes through touching and closeness, play and stimulation – there is pleasure in being alive as the world is experienced and encountered. Unfortunately, not all children have this experience of pleasure, of the world.. there may be family systems where pleasure was frowned upon as indulgent and a waste of time… or have manipulative strings attached…
- Pleasure invites us to pay attention to our senses, to live fully in the present and enjoy the experience of living!
- Pleasure makes us more receptive to new ideas, and extend our awareness through our nerve endings that connect our inner and outer worlds.
- Pleasure invites us to integrate, to explore, to make it a part of your life.
- Our culture equates maturity with the ability to deny pleasure.. which become regulated by guilt, rigidly held inside, becoming defensive, closed and brittle.
- When we are constricted, our energy and life force are limited… getting the energy flowing through the body is one of the major purposes of the Sacral energy centre.
- “PLEASURE IS A PRIMAL MEANS OF INVITING THAT FLOW”.
When primary, healthy pleasures are denied, secondary pleasures take over, such is the pleasure of drinking, drugs, avoiding responsibility, sexually acting out, or over eating. Since secondary pleasures cannot really satisfy our longing for primary pleasures and lack of satisfaction and make us crave more, forming a basis for addiction. There is a ravenous hunger to feel good, a hunger that is never really truly satisfied. Healthy pleasure brings satisfaction; addictive pleasure brings a craving for more.
p112,113 Eastern Body Western Mind by Anodea Judith.
When life is stressful, tough and overwhelming, you need pleasure more than ever!
You need to balance the pain and the pleasure of life… as the famous song goes – ‘there’s a fine line between pleasure and pain…’ – amen sister!
In the middle of a stressful situation, it is so very important to find moments of pleasure…moments of sensual awareness and awakening.. to allow your mind, body and spirit to flow, be calm and in the moment without overwhelm or disconnect.
Pain will come, loss will find you, anger will engulf you, fear will grip you, and worry will visit you…
But… know that all this is bearable with and through pleasure – pleasurable experiences, pleasing environments and pleasurable rewards.
And, so the question has to be asked… what is stopping you from experiencing pleasure?
What is being held rigidly in your mind or body that is difficult to move and restricts your experience of life?
What secondary pleasure are you using to seek your dopamine hit – that simply doesn’t fulfil your deeper need for connection, sensual experience or play?
Let me share with you a few simple pleasures that give me a beautiful dopamine hit.. that stimulate my senses, life my spirit and lighten my load…
- dancing to Mowtown music (well, any music really!)
- walking through nature and discovering the colours, textures and fragrances around me.
- strolling through an art gallery
- a cuppa with a friend, sharing, laughing and connecting
- oh, that first sip of tea in the morning.
- burning essential oils or candles to create a beautiful olfactory response
- a swim in the ocean – that refreshing splash on my skin as I dive under that first wave.
- a nice meal with loved ones
- helping someone feel themselves, or see themselves in a different light..
- the sensual touch of sacred connection
- walking into a clean bathroom
- offering help and it being received with joy.
- finishing a project, idea, email, blog…
- sitting on my deck watching the world go by…
- sipping cold champagne after a long week..
- watching my boys smile and laugh at my silliness..
- swimming laps freeing my body of rigidity…
… And… so many more, but the simple, everyday pleasures we can experience, once we open to the invitation, to the opportunity – to live – lighting up the world with our dopamine, joy, flow, play and connection.
It would be a PLEASURE to help you loosen your grip around pleasure, to help you discover what is being held so tightly that you cannot feel openly, to help you free up your Sacral chakra…
It would be a pleasure to help you open to connection, joy, play – to feel free to enjoy your senses and the life expanding life experiences they will relay to you.
If you would like help with any of what you have read, contact me via the form below, or email me at lisa@in2bakancekiinesiology.com.au
*see: https://www.originsrecovery.com/pleasure-and-the-brain-the-neuroscience-of-why-we-seek-dopamine/
** taken from Eastern Body and Western Mind by Anodea Judith.
