with ease and gratitude…
“Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change.”
The world was created for change….
Humanity was born for change…
So, why is it so hard for us to accept, practice or allow?
My own life has seen periods of great change, some having been incredibly challenging, others invited in and others just happening around me.
I can mention the big periods of change in my life, that were challenging, uncontrollable and traumatizing – my parents divorce when I was 10, my own marriage break-down when I was 26, loss of three babies in utero, changing career, and simply being a parent – every day!
When sudden and unexpected change comes to us – through loss or destruction or any other aspect that we cannot control – our word turns upside down, we struggle, we fight it, we reject it, we freeze, we…. until, finally, hopefully, we come to a point of resignation, acceptance, allowing and CHANGE.
Then, there are the everyday challenges of change that come to us – the everyday of parenting, the everyday of thought patterns, the everyday changes within my body as I get older, the everyday interactions that create challenges to my beliefs and thought-patterns… our everyday, learned and loved habits.
As things around me change, I need to adjust, to sway, to flow…
So, the million dollar question becomes –
HOW TO ACCEPT CHANGE WITH EASE AND GRATITUDE?
“It’s only after you’ve stepped outside your comfort zone that you begin to change, grow, and transform.”
What habits have you created?
Creating a habit is so easy… we do something once, twice, three times.. it becomes a habit… however, it is not so much the ‘action’ that becomes the habit, it is the chemical reaction inside us, the belief around the action and the emotion attached to the action that demands memory imprint into our sub-conscious and our nervous system.
Every aspect of our lives is driven by habitual patterning – how we breathe, how we talk, how we drive, how we eat, how we….
Our sub-conscious drives 90% of our action/thought/belief, which means that we are mostly unaware and unconscious of what our mind and body are up to…
So, changing a habit of action, is more than simple will power – it is about awareness, repetition, resilience and more repetition, more resilience, more awareness, more repetition…
What beliefs have you created?
It is the human condition to attach meaning to everything….
Whether that meaning we attach is even true, we MUST attach some meaning, any meaning, and so, we when attach meaning to an action or thought or even actions or thoughts of others, we habitually believe a ‘truth’ about it…
One of my ‘habitual’ meanings I have placed on the actions of others is ‘what about me, I always miss out’… possibly a left over from being the youngest child?? This habitual meaning has led to resentment and discourse, when there was no need, no reason and no truth to it.
You may ‘believe’ that you’re not ‘strong’ enough, not ‘clever’ enough, or that is ‘just how I am’… Your belief about yourself in regard to the change you desire, is simply a rigid belief that you have habituated…
So, changing a ‘habit of belief, is a process of awareness, learning, discovery…. awareness, repetition, resilience, awareness, repetition, resilience…. Remember a time when you were ‘strong’, ‘clever’ or ‘I’m not like that’… remember, hold it, breathe it, practice it, BE it!
What fear have you created?
Your nervous system is designed to keep you safe, and thank goodness it does! However, sometimes that unconscious safety valve turns on too quickly, creates messages and habits that aren’t real or suite your situation any more. We even create the physical and chemical environments within our body that become habituated around fear (or any feeling).
We habituate fear, just as much as any action or belief or thought process. Phobias, anxiety, worry, suspicion… fear instead of courage, speaking up, self confidence… are all learned and habituated. Some of these are absolutely legitimate and obvious, some however, are simply learned, habitual and old.
Just as your nervous system helps you to breathe and move without thinking, so it helps us be ‘safe’ – helps me move instantly into ‘flight/flight’ or ‘freeze’ or ‘play dead’ even if the environment doesn’t warrant it… it may be a look, a sound, and smell, a word… that once meant ‘danger’ to you or even a family member, but are now simply a look, sound, smell or word that you have habituated fear into…
You can, and probably do, carry habituated fear that is not yours in the first place – a fear from your Mother/Father/Grandparent/teacher… These habituated fears may have been carried from past generations and no-one has realised.. until you! It’s the perfect time to release those generational fears, so that you can be clear and free for your own life to be realised.
“Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.”
Change with Ease and Gratitude can only come through love and compassion.
Change – feels scary, may not be smooth, and never comes without opposition (from self or others)…
However, we can support ourselves (and those around us who are processing change) with:
- compassion – yes, it’s hard, but keep on going.
- open-mindedness – is there another way you can look at this?
- creativity – let’s make this fun!
- awareness – what/why am I thinking/acting like this?
- repetition – yes, just do it again and again.
- resilience – you forgot, fell down, reverted back… start again!
- one step at a time – don’t look too far ahead, just in the now..
- get professional help – yes, pay for help, we all need it sometime!
- gratitude – for each little or big step you take.
- understanding – change can be hard… letting go is challenging…
If you would like help with:
– changing habits of thought, action or fears
– becoming aware of the underlying and subconscious programming
– clearing any old or unwanted patterns
– creating new habits with ease and gratitude,
Contact me (on the link below) and we can begin the journey toward the life you want with, ease and confidence.